75 ways to annoy Sheldon Cooper
by AussieGal20
Summary: A list my friend and I came up with. Title says it all: Please read and review


My friend and I were really bored so we decided to make a list of things that would annoy Sheldon.

I have to give my friend a lot of credit for this and because she doesn't have an account and doesn't want her real name up here, I came up with a pen name for the both of us.

"Chicken noodles"

I'm chicken and she's noodles

So I would like to formally thank noodles for her help on this list,

ENJOY!

75 ways to annoy Sheldon Cooper

Threaten him with dirty hosiery

Tell him you don't believe in evolution

Tell him you think evolution is "too easy"** (FRIENDS)

Change the order of the breakfast cereals from their fibre content to their sugar content.

Drink more than your portion of milk.

Switch his Star Trek DVDs with Babylon five.

Sneeze repeatedly when standing next to him.

Go into his room.

Go into his room and start a conversation only containing small talk.

Read – or touch – his Comic books without wearing reading gloves.

Tell him Theoretical physics is a waste of time.

Inform him that there is a 12 year old boy touring the University and is already completing a Masters degree in Physics. ** (The Jerusalem Duality)

Tell him you think Spock is stupid.

Tell him you believe in Aliens.

Insist that _real_ scientists have found evidence of other life forms on Mars.

Tell him it is now illegal for everyone over the age of 21 to not have a full drivers licence.

Open the door before he finishes knocking.

Cook him porridge on scrambled egg day.

Mess up his underwear draw.

Hide his Tuesday underwear.

Hide his voice recorder.

Use his bathroom time

Give him 5 minutes warning when you plan to have a guest of the opposite sex over for coitus.

Claim to have witnessed a dinosaur egg hatching.

And that it was the cutest thing you had ever seen.

Ask him to explain a physics term tune out, and then ask him to repeat It.

Multiple times.

Hide his bowling shoes.

And his wrist grip thing.

And his shirt.

Tell him Babylon 5 is WAY COOLER than Star Trek.

Argue with him and your reasoning is that the characters names in Babylon 5 are better than the names in Star Trek.

Tell him "Klingon" is not a real language.

Tell him the languages in the Lord of the Rings aren't real languages.

Because no one ever speaks them.

Tell him all aspects of physics is boring/ stupid/ nonsensical.

Move the couch a few centimetres so there is a draft or glare coming off the TV.

Decorate his apartment femininely.

Draw on his white board.

Erase something off his white board.

Mess up the order of his comic books.

Mess up the order of his Star Trek DVD's so the episodes are in the wrong order.

Say 'whom' instead of who all the time.

Remove things from his earthquake survival pack.

Tell him you believe in psychics.

Tell him your training to be a psychic and that you can read his future.

Refuse to drive him anywhere.

Give in and drive him and then kick him out halfway.

Set him up on a date.

Change the thermostat settings

Change the brightness and contrast on the television.

On Halo night, come home late and use the excuse that you had better things to do.

On Chinese food day bring home pizza for dinner.

Make a mess in the kitchen and not clean it up.

Using the excuse that you want to invent a new fungus.

Respond to him sarcastically _all_ the time.

Move things around in his office.

Redecorate his office.

Hide his couch cushion.

Switch his desk chairs.

Get rid of his shampoo and conditioner and replace it with the cheapest crap you can find

Hack onto his facebook account and change his relationship status to "Sheldon Cooper is married."

Hack onto his facebook account and change his status to "Sheldon Cooper is currently trying to prove that aliens exist on Jupiter."

Change his avatar on the online gaming site to a woman avatar.

Buy him new 'hippie' clothes and tell him that they are from his mother.

Force him to wear the clothes by threatening to refuse to take him to Comicon.

Ask him to keep a secret.

Tell him that the secret is life or death.

Offer to look after somebody's pet eg. Bird, puppy, rabbit.

And tell Sheldon he has to look after it for a few hours while you take said person's to the airport.

If he resist's, threaten him by telling him you'll buy the animal and keep it forever.

Forget to bring home his special brand of sauce instead just buy 'home brand.'

Tell him that theoretical physics is being cut at the university.

Every time he tries to explain something cut across him and start talking about something stupid, like the weather.

_**And Finally…**_

Change his Windows Vista to Windows '95.

**I hope you liked it**

**Please review :D**

_**Let me know if you want a back story to any of the ideas, and I'll try to come up with one for you :)**_


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